


A Ghost From The Past

by jordanwinchesterimagines



Series: A Ghost From the Past [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Minor Violence, Reader-Insert, Talk of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-30 01:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12097710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jordanwinchesterimagines/pseuds/jordanwinchesterimagines
Summary: Standing at Jessica's grave you thought about the life you shared together, the memories, the laughs, the friends.. when a familiar voice behind you took you off guard. After all this time, he was standing in front of you. Sam Winchester was standing.. well, crouching while holding his newly broken nose, five feet in front of you... and you had given it to him. That's what he get's for leaving you with no warning after you lost your best friend.





	1. Chapter 1

You stood with your hands tucked into the pockets of your jacket, huddling for warmth against the cool autumn breeze. The flowers you had brought threatened to blow away, but remained on the ground in front of the stone. Jessica’s faded picture smiled back at you despite the then years of wear from the elements. The two of you had grown up together and were close enough to be sisters; many people thought that you were, as much time as you spent together. You had always had plans to grow up and be the two cranky old ladies who sat on their front porch and yelled at the kids walking past. You would knit scarves while she would keep you company telling you stories. She was always so animated; it was one of the things that you missed the most about her. You would never forget the night, ten years ago, that you got the phone call about the fire. She hadn’t made it out in time, and Sam… the mystery of what happened to him still ate away at you. You had searched for months, but the search came up empty. 

You had prayed that he was okay, just taking time to get himself straightened out after what happened to Jess… but when the months turned into years, you had come to think the worst. The thought still made you shudder. Sam had always had a special place in your heart, since the first time you had met him in your English class, freshman year. You could even go as far as saying you loved him at some point, even though you never acted on it. When you saw the two of them together, you had choked it all down and kept your mouth shut. You just wanted them to be happy; that’s all that mattered. But your feelings never fully went away; there was a big possibility that you would never get over the dull ache in you heart after losing them both.

Having stood for a few more minutes, you decided to make your way back towards your yellow bug, which was parked up the road at the entrance of the cemetery. As you walked, you remembered the night you introduced the two of them.  
After weeks of begging, Sam had finally agreed to go to a house party with you. He was always studying, his nose practically glued to the inside of a book. You had convinced him that one night of fun wouldn’t hurt, and he gave in, making you promise to let him study the next weekend.  
When you had arrived, you pulled him onto the dance floor. But after a few minutes of watching him sway uncomfortably to the upbeat tempo, you decided that it would take vast amounts of alcohol to loosen him up. You left him, in search of drinks, and that’s where you had found Jessica, sipping from a red cup in the kitchen with a scowl on her face.

“(Y/N) this party sucks. The beer is bad, and there are no cute guys here.” she complained.

You rolled your eyes at her. “Oh come on Jess! It’s not that bad. Come on,” you took her hand and began to pull her out of the kitchen, “I brought a friend. Dance with us, it will make you feel better.”

The three of you were inseparable after that; you formed a family. You didn’t have anyone else, having made the choice to leave your house and parents behind. They were all you had. ‘The Three Amigos’ as Jess had called it. You were always there for each other, and that was something you hadn’t had since.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the blaring of a horn coming your direction. You looked up in time to see the black car speeding towards you, and you quickly jumped out of the way,falling to the ground. ‘Rude.’ you thought ‘people have no manners these days.’ You brushed off your skirt before pulling yourself to your feet. Taking the final steps to your car, you began searching for your keys in your purse. After a few minutes of shuffling the contents around in the bag, you still couldn’t find them. ‘they must have fallen out.’

Tracing your steps back the way you came, you spotted a tall figure standing in front of Jess’ grave, their back facing you. You watched as they bent over, and picked up your keys, jingling them along the way. You remained silent, not sure of how to approach the stranger. You didn’t have to think long, because they decided to break the ice first.

“Still driving the bug I see.” came a gruff voice. The sound make your heart drop in your chest. It had been years, but you would recognize that voice anywhere.

“It’s a reliable car.” you responded, barely able to find your voice.

“Please.” he laughed, “that car breaks down if you look at it wrong.” He turned around to face you, a soft smile on the edge of his lips. “Hi (Y/N).”

“Hi Sam.” You sighed, still not truly believing the sight before you.

“What…I don’t get a hug?” he teased, holding his arms out. You stood still, your feet frozen in place. He sighed, as he dropped his arms and took a step towards you. You instinctually took a step back.

“What…” you shook your head. “Is it really you?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

You thought that if you ever saw him again, you would be happy, overjoyed… but now that the moment was here… all you felt was anger. Not fully in control of your body, you surged forward and used all of your strength to push your fisted hand into his face. His head fell back, and he brought his hands up to cover his nose, which was bleeding heavily.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?” he yelled.

“TEN YEARS! YOU SHOW UP AFTER TEN YEARS AND YOU MAKE A JOKE ABOUT MY CAR!!?!?! YOU DISAPPEARED SAM! NO PHONE CALL NO EMAIL…”

“(Y/N) CALM DOWN!” he pulled his hand away, revealing his newly broken nose. “Just let me explain…”

“EXPLAIN WHAT!” you interrupted. He flinched at the volume of your words, and you took a deep breath to try and calm yourself. “You left… you left me all alone. Why didn’t you call or send a letter? If you needed time, after Jess, I would have understood.”

“It’s not what you think…”

“Not what I think?! Up until five minutes ago I thought you were dead!” your voice cracked, tears began to run down your cheeks. Your anger was melting away, and another emotion quickly taking its place. “I thought you were dead.” You whispered.

He moved toward you slowly, and wrapped his arms around you when you didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing.” He said. “Give me a chance to explain what happened… If you still want to hate me after that, I’ll leave and you won’t have to deal with me ever again.”

You pulled back and unattractively wiped your nose on your sleeve. “I don’t hate you.” you gave him a small smile. “Come on, we can go to the diner on 5th.” You bent down and picked your keys up. “You’re buying.”


	2. It's a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How was going to explain his absence? Were you even going to let him? All you knew is that he was there and you couldn't help but let him in just a tiny bit. You had missed him to much

Hefollowed you to your car, and climbed into the passenger seat. You were stillmad at him, and probably would be for awhile… But the sight of him, long legspulled into his chest and crunched up in the small space made you laugh. Perfectly content to make him suffer through the short car ride, you put the key in the ignition and started the engine. You glanced over at him as he attempted to clean the blood off of his face. His nose had stopped bleeding a few minutes ago, but the evidence of his newly broken nose still stuck to his skin. You sighed and reached over to your purse, pulling out an old handkerchief. “Here” you said, handing it to him. “Use this.” He took it from you hesitantly, not sure where you’re sudden burst of sympathy was coming from.

"Thanks.“ He began wiping his face with the cloth. When he had finished, he returned his hands to the top of his knees, which were still pulled against his chest. He looked so uncomfortable.

"I’m sorry…” You started, breaking the silence. “About your nose I mean…” You apologized, gesturing to his injury.  
“Don’t be.. I deserved it.”

The rest of the ride was short and uneventful. No words were spoken, as you pulled into a parking spot and waited to be seated once inside. You gave your waitress your order, a cheeseburger for yourself,he ordered a salad. Some things never changed. You watched as Sam played with the edge of his napkin, his fingers folding and unfolding the corner until it ripped.

“So… You going to tell me why I haven’t heard from you in ten years?” You asked, a bit more harshly than originally planned.

“I’ve been everywhere I guess…”

“Everywhere… but here.” You accused.

“I’ve been on the road. With my brother.” He responded, his tone void of any emotion.

“A road trip? That’s all the explanation I get?”

“It’s complicated, I don’t think that…”

“That what?!” You interrupted, “that I would understand?” Before he could respond, the waitress returned with your food, only staying long enough to set your plates in front of you and refill your drinks. When she left, you dove into your food, using it as a buffer for your anger. He picked at his salad, and watched you eat out of the corner of his eye.

“I couldn’t stay here. Not after Jessica.” he whispered. You swallowed the bite you had been chewing and returned his gaze. you put your burger on your plate and sat patiently, waiting for him to continue. “It was too hard. I just….” he trailed off.

“I know what you mean Sam. After everything that happened…” you shook your head, “It was months before I was able to even think about being okay.” The two of you stared at each other for a moment, trying to think of what to say next. This was one of the most difficult conversations you had ever had. It’s not like there was a guide to these sorts of things. It’s not everyday that your best friends ‘comes back from the dead’ after ten years of silence. There was simply too much to be said, yet neither one of you could get the words out. The sound of a phone ringing snapped you both back to the present. Sam ruffled through his jacket pockets, finally pulling out his cell and flipping it open.

“Yeah..” he answered. You watched as he rolled his eyes. “No… What?” he shook his head. “Are you sure?” A loud voice boomed through the connection, forcing Sam to hold the phone away from his ear. “Okay. I get it. Give me ten minutes, the diner down the road.I’m at suchandsuch diner.” he sighed as he disconnected from the call. “I’m sorry. That was my brother.”

“Your brother?” he nodded. “Is everything okay?” you asked, somewhat worried.

“Yeah. It’s just a case we are working on. I have to meet him to talk with a witness.”

“A witness? What are you? Some kind of cop?” You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Something like that. Look, “ he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He took out a handful of cash and placed it on the table, paying for the meal. “I will explain it all to you later. Are you free later tonight?” he asked, standing up.

“Actually no… I’ve got Lilly tonight.” he eyes furrowed together in confusion. Your brain quickly caught up, “My niece… I’m babysitting for my sister.”

“OH.” he said, looking disappointed.

“But I am free tomorrow night. Say around 8…” you suggested. You were suddenly feeling nervous, and you didn’t know why. You retrieved a pen from your bag, and wrote your number on the back of a napkin before giving it to him. He reached forward and took it from you, his fingers lingering on yours for a moment.

“It’s a date.” he smiled at you, and you felt a blush rise to your cheeks. He squeezed your hand once, before releasing it and taking his leave. You watched at the window as he climbed into the black car you saw earlier, smacking the driver in the arm as he did. They sped out of the parking lot, pulling out into the road and quickly disappearing. You knew that there was something he wasn’t telling you. He was definitely hiding something, but right now you didn’t care as much as you knew you should. He was home, and right now that was all that mattered.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..  
As you began getting ready for your ‘date’ you couldn’t help but think how silly this all was. You were probably reading too much into it.. but something in the pit of your stomach told you that something was about to happen. Something big.. you didn’t know what, but you knew it was coming. You just hoped that it was good, and not bad. You had finished your hair an hour ago, you let the soft curls flow freely, letting them hang down your shoulders. You had kept your makeup simple, just a bit of eyeshadow and mascara to bring out the color of your (Y/E/C) eyes. You were about to slip into your dress when your phone buzzed on the bathroom counter. It was a text. From Sam…

Sam: Hey. I am just letting you know that I should be there to pick you up soon.

You smiled at the message before shooting a quick reply.

Sounds good! I’m almost ready.

You set your phone down, and picked up your dress. It was simple enough; a black long sleeve dress that came down to just above your knee. The back was cut out in several places, showing off a bit of skin, but not too much that it would send the wrong impression. You were in the middle of inspecting yourself in the mirror when the doorbell rang. You went to answer the door, hand shaking as you pulled it open. He stood there in a simple blue suit, with his hands in his pockets.

“Wow..” he coughed, attempting to clear his throat. “You look beautiful… Amazing actually.” his arm came up, his hand finding the the back of his neck and rubbed it. “Are you ready?”. You smiled at him and nodded, grabbing your purse before leaving with him, locking the door behind you.

“So where are we going?” you asked, as you stepped into the cool night air.

“Well, if I remember correctly you seemed to like that italian restaurant a few blocks away…. Always stole my breadsticks..” he nudged your shoulder and you let out a laugh.

“Sounds perfect”


	3. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with Sam, a late night walk, and reminiscing on college.

You linked your arm with his as the two of you walked, the breeze making you thankful for the long sleeves. Dinner had been nice; the conversation was light. You had told him about finishing school and your new career as a 6th grade teacher, and he told you about some of the places he and his brother had been. You could tell there was more to the stories, but you didn’t want to spoil the mood. Afterwards, you decided to take a small walk, enjoying the last bit of good weather before the cold set in. 

“So.. Babysitting.” He started. You smiled and shook your head.

“Yeah… Babysitting.” you laughed.

“It’s funny to think of your sister with a kid. She was always more on the wild side.”

ou scoffed at his comment. “Yeah. She definitely was… That’s how she got Lilly.” the two of you shared a knowing smile. “She’s grown up alot since then, kind of have to when you’re a single mom. I just watch her a few nights a week while Jill works the night shift at the diner.”

“Wow.. and how does your boyfriend get along with Lilly?”.

“I’m sure they would get along fine… If he existed.”

He stopped walking and turned to look at you straight on. “You’re telling me that you don’t have a boyfriend…? That in the last ten years,no one has scooped you up?” he shook his head unbelievingly. “No way..”

You hit him playfully on the arm, before pulling his sleeve and returning your arm to it’s former pace. “I didn’t say no one tried…”

“Oh really?!?”

“Yeah, even came close to tying the knot once.”

“And who was the idiot that didn’t make the cut?” you paused, not really sure if you wanted to tell him. “Oh come on.. It can’t be that bad.”

You scrunched up your nose and grimaced. “Donald Trueman.”

“MY FRIEND, DONNIE TRUEMAN!!??!? YOU CANT BE SERIOUS! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?” he was full on laughing at you now.  
Sure, Donald was a bit of an odd ball in college. He and Sam had actually been pretty good friends before sophomore year, when Donald decided that he liked to party more than study. Luckily, he had snapped out of that when you started going together, but he was still a character.

“I know… It wasn’t the smartest thing I have ever done.”

“I think that’s a huge understatement.” he teased.

“Yeah well.. Lets just be glad I dodged that bullet.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I just realized that I was going through the motions.” You had arrived in front of your apartment, and you stopped when you reached the steps leading up. “I just didn’t feel that spark.” You gave him a small smile and looked at the ground.  
“His loss.” he whispered, moving his arm down so he could take your hand.

“Do you wanna come upstairs and hang out for awhile? I’ve got a stack of old movies and a never ending supply of popcorn.” you asked hopefully. You simply weren’t ready for the night to come to an end.

“Sure.”

He followed you back into your apartment, and you left him in the living room to pick out a movie while you changed out of your dress and into some sweats.

When you returned, you found him standing in front of your bookshelf, holding a picture frame in his hand. You came to stand next to him, peeking over his arm to see the photo. It was a picture of you and Jessica, at some random party on campus. A wave of pain went through you when you saw the look on his face. You squeezed his arm in comfort and rested your head against him.  
“I took this picture.” he said, “It was the night of the big football game. We didn’t go… But she forced me to get out of my dorm and have some fun. I almost missed my final the next day.” He smiled at the memory before placing the frame back on the shelf. He walked over and took a seat on your couch and buried his head in his hands. You moved to sit next to him, and put an arm around his shoulder. “I miss her so much.” he choked out, trying to hold back his tears.

“Me too… I’m just glad I don’t have to miss you anymore .” He looked up at you, regret and sorrow in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N).” You felt tears well up in your eyes and a few spilled out onto your cheeks.

“I just don’t understand Sam…. You just left.” he tried to reach for you, but you pulled back. “I mean… I thought that we were friends..”

“We were.. We are.. I just..” he struggled to sit out the words, but you cut him off.

“THEN WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE!!” you screamed. “I know that it was hard for you after Jess, but it was hard on me too! She was my best friend Sam.. and you.. I ….” you let out a sob. “You broke my heart Sam… You left me here alone, and you broke my heart.” He was by you in an instant, taking you into his arms and holding you close. You let yourself melt into his hug, and continued to cry with no shame.

“I loved you Sam..”

He pulled you away from him, and brought his hand up to cup your cheek. Before you could talk yourself out of it you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his. He was still against you at first, but he responded after a few moments, his lips started moving against yours. He deepened the kiss, as you pulled yourself to sit on his lap. His hands came to rest on your hips as yours tangled in his long hair. You pressed yourself as close as you could into him, not wanting anything between you. Never in your wildest dreams could you have pictured this; it was intoxicating and you weren’t ready to let go.

He placed his hands on your shoulders, and gently pushed, separating you from him. “(Y/N).. stop.” you pulled away and tucked you hair behind your ears. You looked at him, waiting for him to say something… anything. “I can’t” he whispered. Your heart dropped in your chest. This was what you were afraid of… You climbed off of his lap and scooted down to the other end of the couch, pulling your knees to your chest.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry (Y/N)… I just…”

“Just what? If you don’t feel that way about me, I understand-”

“It’s not that.” he interrupted. “ I just can’t.”

“Why not?” you said, with a little more confidence. You had put yourself out there… and he said that it wasn’t because he didn’t have feelings for you…’What could be holding him back?’ you thought.

“I feel like I’m betraying her. Like I’m cheating on her.” he said, not meeting your gaze. Now he was just making excuses. He was fueling the fire, and you were about to explode.

“You and I both know that is bull shit! She would want us to be happy!” he stood up, and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. You mirrored his actions, coming to stand in front of him. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you, and I’ve been patient with you since you came back…. But now I expect some answers Sam… I want to know what happened ten years ago…. and don’t you dare lie to me!”  
“FINE YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW WHY? IT’S BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED TO JESS WASN’T AN ACCIDENT!” you shook your head in disbelief.

“What are you-”

“SHE WAS MURDERED OKAY… BY THE SAME SON OF A BITCH DEMON THAT KILLED MY MOM! SO I WENT AFTER THE BASTARD!”

You could not believe what you were hearing. “You know Sam, if you didn’t want to get involved, all you had to do was say so. YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE UP SOME BULL SHIT LIE ABOUT DEMONS AND CRAP. She died in a fire…”

“(Y/N)… I’m not lying to you.. Please just hear me out..” he came toward you but you pushed past him, walking to the door.

“I think you should leave.. now!”

“(Y/N)-” he started.

“NOW!” he didn’t move. “GET OUT!” you screamed. He seemed to deflate a little, grabbing his jacket from the hook on the wall. As he went to leave, he stopped in front of you and kissed your forehead. You yanked yourself away from his touch, and watched as he descended the stairs and left you… again.

Slamming the door, you moved directly to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of whiskey. You were a few sips in when there was a knock on the door. Your heart rate sped up. ‘Maybe he was back, realized he was being stupid’ You walked back to the door and opened it quickly, fully expecting to give Sam a piece of your mind.

That’s when it grabbed you.


	4. Just Give In

When you woke up, you were tied to a chair. The space around you was dark; the only light being the low lamp hanging from the ceiling. You tried to wiggle free, using all of your strength to pull against the restraints, but to no avail.

“Calm down dear.”

You froze at the sound of a voice behind you. You tried to turn around to face your attacker, but you were stuck.

“All that thrashing is bad for your skin. It’s pointless too, really… I’m not going to hurt you.”

Looking over your shoulder you saw a figure appear from the shadows. The slender woman came forward, into the light and came to stand before you. She was small, normal even, but she carried herself with a confidence that said she was all about business; she was the boss and she knew it.

She pulled a chair over from it’s spot across the room and took a seat directly in front of you. She crossed her legs, and arms as she inspected you. You felt like a monkey in a zoo, the way that she looked at you made you think she was capable of anything. “What? No questions, comments… concerns.?

“Who are you?” you asked.

She smiled and leaned forward. “Well (Y/N), you can call me,” she paused to think a moment. “your fairy godmother.”

“Fairy godmother? What…. Wait how do you know my name?”

“Oh, I know lots of things about you. Where you work… Where you live, obviously, I even know all about that little yellow bug that you refuse to get rid of.” You watched as she leaned back in the chair, bringing her hand up to inspect her nails. She straightened out her black skirt and pulled on the sleeves of her jacket. “And of course…” she continued, “I know you hold a candle for Sam Winchester.”  
The mention of Sam’s name made your heart beat twice as fast. He had left moments before you were grabbed and now you were worried for his safety. 

“What did you do to him!?” you asked, with more force than you expected.

“Nothing, nothing dear. Although, I don’t know why you care so much. He doesn’t love you. Maybe he did, at least a little… but that was before Jessica.” She shook her head. “I still don’t understand why you gave up your happiness so that could happen.”

“Because it was the right thing to do.” You answered automatically. Sure it had been a hard decision, but you knew that they had something special. Who were you to come between them?

“(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)… always worried about everyone but yourself.” She stood up, and walked a circle around you, stopping behind your back to place her hands on your shoulders. She leaned down to whisper in your ear, “What if I told you, I could give you everything you have ever wanted.” You flinched away from the feeling of her breath in your ear.

“I would tell you that you’re crazy.” You tried once more to pull free, only to have her laugh when you failed.

“Dear, I’m far from crazy. I’m not the one who gave up on her one chance for happiness for friends” She cringed. “I have ambition, you have kindness.” She stood in front of you now; she was bent down at eye level with you. “That’s not a bad thing. I just worry for you. You deserve to be happy, and I can help with that.”

Your interest in her offer was growing despite your best efforts. You paused for a moment, giving yourself time to gather your thoughts.

“How?”

“All I have to do is use a bit of my magic.” Her eyes flashed blue, and you leaned back in your chair in surprise. “I have a gift (Y/N), let me use it.”

“Why me?” you asked, confused by her apparent kindness.

“Because I see your struggle. I see the pain that you feel each time you think about him, or even Jessica. You long for a happy ever after. The real question is, will you fight for it?”

“Will anyone be hurt?”

“No, not at all!”

You took a moment to take it all in. There was a way you could finally leave the pain of the past behind you, have a happily ever after…  
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you spoke. “What do I have to do?”

A smile spread across her face. She came forward and placed both of her hands on your bare forearms.

“Just give in.” she whispered. You watched as her eyes flashed blue again, but your real attention was focused on her arms. Where there was once pale, empty skin, intricate tattoos now littered the surface. They grew in number and soon, she was covered from head to toe in the markings. Your sight was beginning to fuzz in the corner of your eyes, and your mind was trying to pull you into itself. You looked into her eyes, only to find reassurance in their blue glow. “Just give in”

And you did.


	5. Let's Get Her Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trapped inside of your own personal fantasies, Sam fights to break through to you. What was life like on the other side? Did you even want to leave?

You felt the cool fabric of the sheets against your skin, and the soft pillow under your head. You didn’t have to open your eyes to know that you were laying in bed… a cozy one at that. You felt yourself melt into the mattress, and you thought about going back to sleep. It had been months since you had felt this well rested, and you were going to take advantage of the peacefulness. The mattress beside you shifted, and you felt a pair of strong arms come to wrap around your waist. You smiled. The smell of well-worn books and his cologne surrounded you and filled your nostrils. You could never get tired of that smell… it was just so… Sam. Keeping your eyes closed, you turned around to face him. He pulled you in close and kissed you softly on the forehead, staying there for a moment before burying his face in your hair.

“Good morning.” He whispered.

You replied in a soft moan, showing him how content you were. You opened your eyes and moved your head backwards so you could better see his face. He followed your movements, not willing to give up the closeness quite yet. He moved to hover over you, his arms resting on the sides of your head. He swooped down and pressed his lips against yours slowly. You responded to the kiss, moving your mouth against his, and bringing your hands to tangle in his messy morning hair. He brought one hand up to cup your face as you wrapped your legs around his, pulling him closer. The two of you were brought out of your moment of intimacy by your phone going off, signaling you had received a text.

“You should get that.” He said, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I don’t want to.” You pouted, pulling at his grey V-neck to bring him back to you. He rolled his eyes and gave you a peck on the lips before reaching over and retrieving your phone.

“It’s your sister.”

You sighed and took the phone from him, typing in your password before bringing up the message. “She needs us to baby sit today. She got called into work and Lilly is home sick from school.” You stated,   
looking up at him.

“Well, I would much rather stay here with you on my day off..” he wiggled his eyebrows and gave you his best blue steel. You laughed out loud at how ridiculous he looked. “But it sounds like she needs our help. Besides, Lilly needs time with her Aunt (Y/N) and Uncle Sam.” He winked and stood up, before moving to the dresser across the room, picking out his clothes.

You stayed in bed for a moment, silently watching him get ready for the day and wondered how you could have gotten this lucky. He turned and caught you staring, and shook his head. He threw a pair of your jeans at you and you caught them before they could hit your face. “Get up lazy.” He teased. You scoffed at him as you brought your self out of bed and began to get dressed.

Sam pulled the car into your sister’s driveway, and turned off the engine. He was out of the car and opening your door for you before you could even unbuckle your seat belt. Although he may not admit it, you knew that he loved babysitting Lilly. The two of them were two peas in a pod, and it always somehow ended up with you babysitting while he played and joked around. You saw your sister come out the front door, her diner uniform and apron already in place. She was in a hurry apparently, and didn’t have a lot of time to chitchat.

“You guys are the best! She is in the living room, playing with her dolls. She needs medicine in an hour, and the numbers are on the fridge.” She rambled as she got into her car. She gave you a smile before backing out of the driveway and speeding down the road.

“I just love talking with your sister.” Sam said sarcastically. You slapped his arm playfully and the two of you made your way inside. You found Lilly playing with her favorite doll, the one that you had gotten her for her birthday last year. She had her mothers delicate features, but she mostly looked like you; a small frame, and big (y/e/c) eyes. You watched her for a moment, admiring the soft curls that fell to her shoulders. You were mesmerized by her as she played, captivated by her imagination.

“Where’s my favorite niece!”

She turned her head at the sound of your voice, her eyes lighting up when she saw you. “(Y/N)!!!!” She put her doll on the ground and ran to you, wrapping her arms around your legs and squeezing.

“And what about me? Don’t I get one of those?!” Sam cried sarcastically from behind you. Lilly pulled back from you and ran at Sam, who opened his arms to her. He scooped her up and gave her a raspberry on her cheek. She giggled wildly and gave him a sloppy kiss on the side of his face.

“Hi uncle Sammy.” She said with a grin.

“How’s my Lilly-Pad?” he asked, ruffling her hair as he sat her down on the ground.

“Sick.” She said, coughing a few times to try and hide her smile.

“You don’t look that sick to me.” You said, putting the back of your hand to her forehead. It was normal.  
“Please don’t tell mommy!” she said in a panic. “Please, please, pretty please!” she pleaded. You looked up and shared a smile with Sam.

“Your secret is safe with us. But, no skipping school… you’re too young to start doing that.” You were kneeling in front of her when your vision blurred. You felt the room spin around you, struggling to sit down before you fell. You brought your hands to your face, covering your eyes. With your eyes closed, you expected to see nothing but darkness, but what you saw was completely different.  
...  
You were in a dark, cold room. Your body felt sore, but was unresponsive when you tried to move. Sam was standing over you, but he was different; He wasn’t your Sam. His clothes were dirty, and his hair was matted with what looked like blood. His face was covered in small cuts and his eyes looked desperate. He reached out to you, taking hold of your shoulders, and shook you roughly. “(Y/N)! Wake up! You have to wake up!” And suddenly he was ripped away and replaced with a strange woman who touched your forehead. It all went black.  
...  
Your eyes flew open and you fought to catch your breath. Your Sam was kneeling in front of you, his eyes full of concern.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” His eyes scanned over your body, looking for any signs of an injury.

“Nothing.” You shook your head to clear the strange images from your mind, “probably just low blood sugar or something.” He nodded sympathetically.

“We did skip breakfast this morning..” He looked back to Lilly who had scooted away to the corner of the room. She looked concerned for you, and slightly frightened. “ Why don’t I take my girls out for lunch, and then maybe a trip to the park?” He suggested, trying to ease her mind and yours. You nodded, and allowed him to slowly pull you off the ground. You gave him an encouraging smile and turned to your niece.

“Come on Lil. Let’s get your coat.”  
...

With one last swing, Dean finally had the Djinn on the ground. He bent down and wiped his knife on its sleeve, cleaning off the blade as best as he could. Damn thing. It had taken both of them to break it down and kill it. It was stronger than they would have expected, and it put up more of a fight than any monster they have seen in years. But Dean was able to sneak up behind it when it was distracted with Sam. He looked over to his brother, who was slowly coming to. The Djinn had really done a number on him.

Sam, suddenly alert, looked around frantically, but sighed when he saw the dead monster on the ground next to Dean. His eyes scanned the room, and he saw your body crumpled in the corner. He rushed over to you, and turned you over carefully. You were unconscious, and had a gash across your forehead. He tried “(Y/N)! Please don’t … You have to wake up. You have to!” he yelled, pulling you into his chest. Dean walked over and put a hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“Sam…” he started.

“No Dean!” he held you closer. “She is gonna be okay. She has to be.”

“Just… calm down and let me see her Sammy.” Sam looked at his brother and hesitated a moment before slowly lowering you to the floor, placing his jacket under your head. Dean moved to kneel next to you, and put his fingers to your neck, looking for a pulse. “She’s alive. But just barely.” He used his hands to check the gash, and check you for other wounds. “I think it’s the Djinn poison, see the way her eyes are moving?”

Sam looked down and sure enough, there it was, a small flutter behind your eyelids. “She’s dreaming?” Dean nodded. “Then why can’t we just wake her up!”

“Think about it Sam… When I was under, I had to kill myself before I woke up!” he paused and took a deep breath. “When you’re in there, it’s your dream life. You have just about everything you always wanted. I had mom, a girl…you had Jess. But I knew that it wasn’t right, I knew about monsters and I knew that things weren’t adding up. She doesn’t…” he trailed off, unable to find the words.

“What are you saying? That she’ll just die? We can’t let that happen, Dean… This is my fault!” Sam said, angrily pulling at his hair.

“Hey! Don’t say that! It’s not your fault that some Djinn decided to be a dick.” The look on his younger brother’s face told him that his response wasn’t good enough. “We will just have to keep trying to get through to her and hope that she can understand.” The boys looked down at you, still motionless on the floor.

“Come on.. Let’s get her home.”


	6. Please Come Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam refuses to leave you behind. What will he see when he enters your dreams? Will he be able to convince you to come home, where you can be with him.. the real him?

“It’s been hours Dean! The poison should have worn off by now!” Sam exclaimed, pacing back and forth beside the bed. After they were sure the Djinn didn’t have any more victims, they had loaded everything into the Impala and drove as fast as they could back to their motel room. You were still unconscious when they placed you on the mattress, in an effort to make you comfortable. It had been five hours since they had returned, and you were still passed out, lost in your own world. They had taken to the books, looking for anything that might wake you up, but it was beginning to look hopeless.

“Sam, we have to think of the possibility that she doesn’t want to wake up.” Dean said from his spot at the kitchen table.

Sam stopped pacing and looked at his older brother, horrified that he could think such a thing. “What are you talking about Dean? Of course she would want to wake up!”

“Not if whatever she’s dreaming about is better than what she’s got, Sammy. For us it’s been a few hours, but to her it could be days, even years.”

“Well she may not even know that she’s dreaming. Maybe if we could find a way to get through to her…” Sam trailed off, and strode quickly to the table where Dean was sitting. He picked up his father’s journal and began to flip through, scanning the pages quickly.

“What are you thinking?” Dean asked, curious as to where Sam was going with this.

“When Charlie was captured by the Djinn on that case we worked…. Here!” he turned the book to the side, showing Dean his discovery. “We dream root to get through to her. We can do that for (Y/N)!”

“It’s worth a shot. I think we have all the stuff for the spell in the car.” Dean stood, taking the list with him, and left the room. He returned a few moments later, his arms full of the various ingredients. “Now, when I go under…” he started.

“You’re not going under. I am.” Sam stated.

“Sam….” Dean whined, he really didn’t want to fight his brother right now, there was too much going on. “It’s dangerous, I’ve already been under a few times. I know what I’m doing.”

“She doesn’t know who you are Dean. To her, you could just be some crazy person stalking her. If I go, she will recognize me. I know she will.” Dean looked at his little brother. He knew right then that he wasn’t’ going to change Sam’s mind. He rolled his eyes and began mixing the drink.

“Fine. Just remember, that once you go under you don’t have a lot of time. Every second counts, you gotta find her fast.” He turned around, dream root in hand and motioned for Sam to sit down in the chair next to you. “Have fun with that…It smells like feet..” Sam took the glass, and held it to his lips. He glanced over at you, motionless on the bed. He took a deep breath and threw the drink back, swallowing it in one gulp. Here goes nothing.

…..

“Sam! Hurry up or we’re going to be late!” you yelled as you slipped into your heels.

“I’m ready!” came a reply. You rolled your eyes before checking your outfit in the mirror one last time. You had on a dark blue sleeveless dress with matching shoes and a bag. The necklace that Sam had given you hung around your neck and the pendant sat nicely on your chest. Your hair was up in a sophisticated bun, but you had left some curls to frame your face. Out of the corner of your eye you spotted him in the mirror. You sighed.

“Sam this is a fancy restaurant. You can’t wear jeans…” He scoffed at you.

“Well I didn’t know that I was engaged to the fashion police!” he teased.

“Oh shut up.” you said, smacking his arm. He smirked at you before leaving to put on his suit. You turned to make your way back to the bedroom, but you froze when you were thrown into what seemed like another reality.

…..

“She doesn’t know who you are Dean. To her, you could just be some crazy person stalking her. If I go, she will recognize me. I know she will.” The man that was apparently named Dean looked at Sam. He rolled his eyes and began mixing a drink.

“Fine. Just remember, that once you go under you don’t have a lot of time. Every second counts, you gotta find her fast.”

……

And just like that you were back, staring at the walls of your bathroom. This wasn’t the first time you had seen something like this. For the last few months you had been having flashes of them, and each time you did it was harder to ignore the uneasy feeling in your stomach. They were always short, only lasting for a few seconds, and sometimes they happened so often that you thought you were going insane. You haven’t bothered telling Sam about them. You didn’t really want him to worry about you.

“Ready to go?” Sam asked, suddenly appearing in front of you. You nodded, pushing the thought of your visions to the back of your mind.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

The drive to the restaurant was silent. You were still thinking about what you saw earlier. It had been somewhat different than before, more clear, more….. real. Sam could tell that you were lost in your own mind, and gave you the time you needed to think. He was always so good about knowing exactly what you needed. When you pulled into the parking lot, he walked around and opened your door, holding his hand out to you. You took it and the two of you walked in to meet the rest of your party. Jessica greeted you when you reached the table.

“(Y/N)! It’s been too long!” she stood up from her chair and came to hug you. She squeezed you tight, and you squeezed back, as hard as you could. “Hey, go easy on me. If you squeeze any harder this beach ball is going to pop!” she laughed, bringing your hand to rest on her pregnant stomach.

“Well, we wouldn’t want that now would we.” You said with a smile. Sam came over and hugged Jess before moving around and greeting her husband.

“Good to see you again Brian. How’s it going man?”

“Pretty good if you don’t count the late night snack runs and the pregnancy hormones.” He said, pointing to Jess.

“Oh come on man. It can’t be that bad!” Sam reasoned.

“Oh really!?! We’ll see if you sing the same tune when it’s your turn.” Sam turned and gave you a smirk.

“We’ll actually…” he started. Jess interrupted him.

“No way. Are you pregnant?!? Oh my God this is so exciting! How far along are you?”

“I’m ten weeks.” You said sheepishly.

“OH! I’m so happy for you!” she gave you another hug before you all took your seats at the table. You nudged Sam with your elbow.

“I thought we were going to wait until after dinner to tell them.” You whispered.

“I’m sorry! I’m just too excited to be starting a family with you. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.” he defended.

“You’re lucky that you’re cute.” You teased.

“The luckiest.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss you. After a moment, the others at the table began to tease you, so you pulled back and straightened your dress, trying to hide the blush rising to your cheeks. You picked up your menu and began scanning the many options that the restaurant offered.

“(Y/N)!” You looked up at the sound of someone calling out to you. You dropped the menu and stood up, not believing that this was happening. ‘Imaginary Sam’ stood a few feet away from you, but this time.. he wasn’t just in your head. The others at the table stood too, your Sam coming around to stand in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” he said. The somewhat unfamiliar Sam stopped when he spotted Jessica. He stared at her with misty eyes, unable to hide the shock of seeing her. After a long moment, his response came in the form of a whisper.

“I’m here to take her home… where she belongs.”

“She belongs here.”

“Will someone just tell me what is going on!?!?!” you yelled, confused about why you were seeing two Sams.

“He’s not real (Y/N). None of it is! This is all in your head!” ‘imaginary Sam’ yelled, becoming even more determined to get you home.

“Shut your mouth!” the Sam in front of you shouted. The other Sam wasn’t fazed and moved closer to you.

“You’ve been seeing things right? Hearing voices?” he asked.

“How did you know that?” You felt sick at your stomach.

“You’ve been poisoned (Y/N). You’re not seeing visions… You’re seeing the real world. Your actually unconscious on a hotel bed.”

“You stupid…! You just had to come in and ruin everything for her! She’s happy here, leave her be.” You couldn’t believe your ears. The Sam that you knew and loved seemed to know what was going on, and you were over him keeping you in the dark.

“What the hell are you talking about? Is he telling the truth?” you questioned him. He sighed and took a breath before turning to face you.

“Technically… yes.” He followed you when you moved away, reaching out to touch your face. “But, you can be happy here. You can live a full life with everything you ever wanted. You just have to stay here with us.”

“He’s right (Y/N).” Jessica said. “It will feel like years. We can have our children together, be soccer moms…. everything that we would have been doing.”

Your brain felt like it was going to explode. You stepped back away from them. You looked at the man who seemed to have popped out of thin air, he looked haunted. There was something in his face that made you heart hurt. “If this is true… What happens if I stay/”

“You’ll die.” He whispered. “Please come home. Please.” You stood in front of him, your eyes searching his.

“How?”

He released a shaky breath at the sound of your question. He threw himself forward and captured you in a hug. “Don’t freak out… but you have to kill yourself.”

You pulled away from him, suddenly terrified. “KILL MYSELF? I THOUGHT I WAS TRYING NOT TO DIE!”

“No! Listen,” he took both of your hands in his. “It’s to wake you up. My brother.. He’s done it before.”

“You’re asking me to kill myself.. How do I know this is even real? How do I know that I’m not just imagining this?”

“Hey! Look at me!” he brought his hands up to cup your face. “I am real. This…” he leaned in and kissed you. Sparks went off the moment that your lips touched. “This is real.” You separated yourself from him, and moved over to the table. You picked up a knife from beside your plate.

“(Y/N), please don’t do this.” fiancee Sam said. “ I love you so much. We are going to have a family together…”

“I’m sorry.” A tear fell from the corner of your eye. You looked at Jessica, she was crying too. “I am so sorry.”

Then you plunged the knife into your chest.


	7. Not Just a Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last thing you remember is stabbing yourself in the chest, and now here you are.. laying in a motel bed with two Winchesters staring at you. 
> 
> THIS IS THE LAST PART! Thank you for all of your kudos and love!

Your eyes snapped open and you sat up quickly. Your breathing was heavy and your heart was racing. You brought your hands up to your chest, touching it where only moments before you had pressed the knife in. When you felt the absence of a wound, you were relieved. You turned your head to find Dean sitting in a nearby chair, staring at you with an eyebrow raised. His eyes then shifted to the bed next to you, where Sam was coming back to consciousness. Sam rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands as he slowly sat up. He blinked a few times, before he regained the ability to focus. When he met your gaze he abandoned his spot on the edge of the bed and closed the distance between you in one stride. He pulled you close, wrapping his arms around your shoulders for a bone-crushing hug. Your body was shaking, but you willed your arms to return the gesture with everything you had. Dean shook his head and stood from his chair. He made his way over to the table, where he grabbed his keys and jacket before heading out the door, all the while mumbling that he would be back later. But neither you or Sam noticed his departure, the two of you were wrapped inside your own moment. All you could do was hold onto him. You knew that you had done the right thing by waking up. What you had while you were under was good, wonderful even… but it wasn’t this. This was real. Sam holding onto you like you were the only thing that mattered… was real.

You don’t know how long you stayed like that. Seconds… minutes… years… but finally he loosened his grip on you, and pulled back slightly. One hand came up to cup your face, while the other put it’s finger’s in your hair. You could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin as he rested his forehead against yours.

“I thought I was going to lose you.” Sam said, breaking the silence. His fingers tightened in your hair as he took a shaky breath. Despite being the one who was captured and poisoned, you found that the need to comfort him was your top priority.

“Shhh,” you soothed. You moved an arm to pull him closer and you shifted on the bed to make room for him. He followed your lead and sat next to you, keeping a hold on you the entire time. His head came to rest on your shoulder. You realized he was crying when you felt hot tears against the skin of your neck. “It’s okay. I’m here.” At the sound of your voice, he released a broken sob before gripping you tighter. You took an arm that was wrapped around his waist, and moved it so that your hand came to rest on the top of his head. You began brushing your fingers through his hair, trying to calm his nerves. His breathing came easier, and he pulled back to look at you. He brought his hands up to your face, using the pads of this thumbs to wipe away the tears that had begun to fall down your cheeks.

“(Y/N), I am so sorry.” His voice was small, almost a whisper. You shook your head at him.

“Sam, there is nothing for you to be sorry about. What happened wasn’t your fault.” He removed his hands and placed them in his lap. He looked down, away from you and stared at his fingers.

“That Djinn went after you because of me. If I hadn’t been here, she would have never taken you.”

“Hey,” you took hold of his chin and tilted his head upwards so he could see your face. “Did you tell the Djinn,” whatever that is, “where I lived? Did you put a big neon sign on my door?”

“I might as well have…” he countered. He sighed and he stood, moving to the end of the bed, where he began pacing. “I should have known… I should have known that something like this would happen. Every time I get close…” he paused for a moment and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “After Jessica, I swore that I would never go there again.”

That’s when you finally understood. Sam was telling the truth when he was trying to explain why he left. That’s why he has been so hesitant to give in and be with you. He thinks that whatever happened to Jessica was his fault. Finding your voice, you moved to stand in front of him. You grabbed his shoulders to prevent him from pacing anymore. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” you whispered.

He shook his head at you. “I wouldn’t have believed me either.” He responded.

“Sam. What happened to Jessica…” you sighed. “I know you think you are responsible, but I know you. I know that you would never do anything to hurt her. You loved her.”

“But I was the reason she was killed. That demon was trying to get to me and he took out Jess just like the Djinn tried to take you. The monsters don’t care about anything but themselves, they always go after the people I love…”

“You love me?” you cut in. His eyes softened at the tone of your voice and he gave you a small smile.

“Yes. (Y/N), I love you very much.” he said, a small blush rising to his cheeks. You let out a breath you didn’t know that you were holding. This was the moment that you were waiting for, the three words that you had been longing to hear, since the moment you met him more than 10 years ago. You used your hands on him and leverage and pulled him roughly toward you. You poured everything you had into the kiss. What started out a small, gentle kiss quickly turned into something more intense. Your lips moved against his with fervor. You felt his tongue on your bottom lip and you opened up to him in response. The taste of Sam on your lips was intoxicating and you hoped that you would never have to give it up. When the two of you parted for air, you stayed close, exchanging small kisses as you both came back down from the high.

“I love you too. I always have.” He smiled before placing a chaste kiss on your lips. “I can’t believe what we’ve missed. This whole time… we could have been together.” His smile fell and he pulled away and turned his back to you.

“(Y/N). I can’t do this.”

“What? Do what Sam?” you asked, trying to catch your breath.

“Us. I can’t do us.” He turned back to you.

“What…? But you just said that…”

“I know. I do love you… but it doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter? It means everything!”

“(Y/N), I hunt monsters for a living! If we were together who’s to say something like this won’t happen again? I’m not putting you in that kind of danger.”

“You don’t get to decide everything, Sam. There are two people here,” You pointed between the two of you. “You don’t get to speak for me.”

“(Y/N)…”

“NO! I have waited for so long…” you shook your head, trying to hold back the tears. “Now I finally have it, and you want to take it away.” You released a sob as your legs gave out. You landed on the floor and you brought your knees to your chest. You began to rock back and forth. This is not happening you thought. You had it for like… two seconds and then it was ripped away… Sam knelt down beside you, taking you in his arms. “don’t leave me… not again.”

“Sam, if I have to sit through this any longer, I’m going to barf.” The two of you looked up to see that Dean had returned, and was now standing in the doorway holding a box of donuts and a coffee. “Stop being such a bitch.” You looked at him, appalled. “Not you. Him.” he said, pointing to his brother.

“Dean…” Sam started.

“No listen. I’m not big on chick-flick moments but I know love when I see it. A damn blind man could see that you two have something.” Sam looked at Dean with surprised eyes. Sure his older brother had the thing with Lisa, but he never imagined that dean would take charge in this type of situation. It was completely unexpected. “You deserve to be happy, Sammy. If you really love her, we’ll figure the rest out.” and with that, he took his leave.

“So… that’s Dean.” You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. Sam stood and extended his hand to you. You took it, and he pulled you up from the ground. The two of you stood in silence for a few minutes, trying to find the right words.

“(Y/N) I can’t guarantee that you will be safe.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“You’ll have to come with us, somewhere safe. We have a bunker in Kansas… It’s not perfect, but it’s home.” He twisted his hands together nervously; scared that you would decide you didn’t want to leave your old life.

“Sounds perfect.”

A few hours later, you were loading the last of what you were taking with you in the back of the Impala. You had stopped by your sister’s house on your way home to say goodbye. She was confused at first why you were leaving so sudden, but when she saw who you were with, she had hugged you and Sam and told you to keep in touch. Lilly’s’ goodbye had been more difficult. She had cried but you promised that you would call and video chat. She had taken to Sam fast when he suggested driving back for her birthday in a few months. After saying your goodbyes you headed to your apartment and put everything you loved into a few boxes.

“Damn, Sam. Finally found someone who likes to read as much as you do!” Dean teased, holding up a large box of books. He was right. Half of what you had packed were novels; you just couldn’t bring yourself to part with them. Sam took the box from Dean and put it in the trunk before closing the door.  
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that you get out of research.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Well, if she’s anything like you, I won’t have to. She’ll probably spend the first two weeks in the library.”

“You have a LIBRARY?” you asked, looking at Sam. He laughed.

“Yep. I’m only half way through it and we’ve been there for almost a year.”

“Sounds like I’m going to be pretty busy.” you joked. Sam chuckled and moved to open the door for you. You slid inside and were mildly surprised when Sam moved to sit next to you in the back seat. He smiled at you before pulling you in for a chaste kiss.

“Hey you two… none of that.” You looked to Dean, who was sitting in the front seat, staring at you in the rearview mirror.

“Yeah. Okay, Dean… like you’ve never kissed Cas in the Impala.” Dean’s neck and ears turned red instantly.

“Shut up Sam.”

“Who’s Cas?” you asked.

“No one.” Dean mumbled from behind the steering wheel.

“He’s Dean’s boyfriend.” Sam said, reaching up and slapping Dean on the back.

“He is NOT my…” Just as Dean was about to dispute Sam’s claim a dark haired man in a trench coat appeared next to him. At first, it took you by surprise, but smirk playing on Sam’s lips reassured you that this wasn’t another monster. The blue-eyed man turned towards Dean, his eyes squinted and head tilted.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean sighed “Hey, Cas.”

Cas squinted his eyes even more and gave Dean a playful smile. Dean deflated and reached his hand over and held Cas’. Dean kept his eyes on the road in front of them as he drove, but you could still see the small smile on his face. You looked over to find Sam staring at you. He raised an arm, and you slid in to sit closer to him. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, and you came to rest your head on his chest. You looked out the window as the cars and streets seemed to disappear. You were driving to your new home, with the man you love. You were headed for your future.


End file.
